๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽƒ๐Ÿ’€๐ŸŽƒ
๐ŸŽƒ ONE DOLLAR IN, A BILLION DOLLARS OUT (OR A CURSE, RESULTS DEFINITELY NOT GUARANTEED) ๐ŸŽƒ PICK A GUY. HE SCORES. WE EAT. ย  TRICK OR TREAT!!!!
๐Ÿ’€ NOAH picked a guy who forgot how to score. Brickfingered.๐Ÿ’€ RILEY picked a guy who forgot how to score. Brickfingered.๐Ÿ’€ DEREK made a pick so bad it belongs in a museum of failure.๐Ÿ’€ THOMAS fumbled the assignment. A stain on this proud league.๐Ÿ’€ JONAH chose a player allergic to the end zone. Embarrassing.๐Ÿ’€ NOAH picked a guy who forgot how to score. Brickfingered.๐Ÿ’€ RILEY picked a guy who forgot how to score. Brickfingered.๐Ÿ’€ DEREK made a pick so bad it belongs in a museum of failure.๐Ÿ’€ THOMAS fumbled the assignment. A stain on this proud league.๐Ÿ’€ JONAH chose a player allergic to the end zone. Embarrassing.
๐Ÿ”ฅ All hail MITCH: 5-week hit streak and counting.๐Ÿ”ฅ DEREK is 2-for-2 and somehow still humble about it. Respect.๐Ÿ”ฅ JACK CALLEN is 2-for-2 and somehow still humble about it. Respect.๐Ÿ”ฅ CONNER is 3-for-3 and somehow still humble about it. Respect.
๐Ÿ’€ 2 weeks of bad juju for PRESTON. The pumpkin patch is watching.๐Ÿ’€ 2 weeks of bad juju for JONAH. The pumpkin patch is watching.๐Ÿ’€ RILEY is a walking curse on this billion -- 7 weeks and counting.
THE BOARD - 2026 Week 2_โ–กร—
๐Ÿ’€ TICKET IS DEAD ๐Ÿ’€
(5 legs missed) โ€” but keep watching, we play for pride now
๐Ÿ’ฐ $?????? ๐Ÿ’ฐ
(the Head Gambler hasn't placed the ticket yet)
7 of 12 TOUCHDOWNS SO FAR
โ—โœ–โ—โœ–โœ–โœ–โœ–โ—โ—โ—โ—โ—
(archived week โ€” final results)
#MANAGERTHEIR GUYTEAMvsKICKOFFSTATUS
1AustinJahmyr Gibbs (RB)DETBUFThu, 8:15 PM EDTTD! HIT
2NoahJavonte Williams (RB)DALWSHSun, 4:25 PM EDTMISS
3PrestonDerrick Henry (RB)BALNOSun, 1:00 PM EDTTD! HIT
4RileyBijan Robinson (RB)ATLCARSun, 1:00 PM EDTMISS
5DerekPuka Nacua (WR)LARNYGMon, 8:15 PM EDTMISS
6ThomasDe'Von Achane (RB)MIASFSun, 4:25 PM EDTMISS
7JonahAshton Jeanty (RB)LVLACSun, 4:05 PM EDTMISS
8MitchJames Cook III (RB)BUFDETThu, 8:15 PM EDTTD! HIT
9TylerChristian McCaffrey (RB) ร—2 TDs!SFMIASun, 4:25 PM EDTTD! HIT
10ConnerJaxon Smith-Njigba (WR) ร—3 TDs!SEAARISun, 4:25 PM EDTTD! HIT
11Jack CallenJonathan Taylor (RB) ร—2 TDs!INDKCSun, 8:20 PM EDTTD! HIT
12AndrewJa'Marr Chase (WR) ร—2 TDs!CINHOUSun, 1:00 PM EDTTD! HIT